


The Next Episode

by HeavyMetalMothman



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Making Out, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use, Shotgunning, also guacamole discourse, the wittiest banter i can think of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 06:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14665620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavyMetalMothman/pseuds/HeavyMetalMothman
Summary: Shane invites Ryan to get stoned with him.





	The Next Episode

**Author's Note:**

> Joey really wanted a shotgunning fic so... I... yeah. ENJOY IT.
> 
>  
> 
> listen to The Next Episode (San Holo Remix), sets the whole tone for the fic

“I’m still not sure about it, Shane.” Ryan sat with his friend on the rooftop of the patio at Buzzfeed, it offered a scenic look at the city while they both slowly made their way through Chipotle burritos. Ryan sat with his legs resting on the seat of an empty cast iron chair, Shane just put his long legs up on the table. It was quiet, only another group sat at a table across the patio, out of earshot. 

 

“It’ll be  _ fine _ , I promise. No offense, but you’re kind of a major tightass.” Shane eyed his burrito, trying to decide which angle to attack it from next. 

 

Ryan hummed in agreement, reaching for his soda. “I do indeed have a tight ass, how provacative of you to notice.” Shane looked at him quizzically. Ryan chuckled, trying not to choke on his drink. He hoped his face didn’t look too red. “I’m just nervous man, I’ve never like smoked before.”

 

“Some grass…” Shane spoke in a breathy voice, staring off into the distance. “So you keep reminding me. Seriously though, it’ll be fun. And it’s not like you’re trying to figure it by yourself. I’ll be there to help.” Shane fiddled with foil on the outside of his burrito. 

 

“You’ll be there to make fun of me when I hit the bong all wrong.” Ryan picked up a chunk of meat that had fallen from his burrito and popped it in his mouth. 

 

“You’re right, I will make fun of you. I’ve made it my life’s work to make fun of you.” Shane retorted, his mouth curling into a goofy smirk. 

 

“You’ve made it your life’s work to torment me until I slip slowly into madness, almost entirely induced by animated talking food.” Ryan stared at him, waiting for Shane’s terrible retort about the post-post mortem segment. 

 

“That is also true.” Shane reached over and stole a chip from Ryan, swiping some of his guacamole as well. 

 

“Hey!” Ryan protested, though he didn’t really didn’t mind. “I paid good money for that!” 

 

“I wouldn’t say it’s good money spent, that is terrible guac.” Shane looked at the chip for a moment, before putting the entire thing in his mouth. 

 

“And what would you know about good guac? You come from Illinois.” Ryan glared at him from across the table. Shane shook his head and waved his finger back and forth in protest, trying to finish his chip in a timely manner.

 

“I know it shouldn’t be mush with maybe a tomato or two. And you know what, I’m gonna say it; avocados are boring fruits. They don’t taste like anything and they make everything else you put ‘em on duller. Why are we insisting avocados are so great? They turn brown after being cut open for like five minutes. If you gotta put onions, tomatoes, lime juice, and lord knows what kind of chaotic peppers you’ve chosen in it, it’s probably not that great of a fruit to begin with.” 

 

“I ought to smack you for the blasphemy spilling from your mouth right now. How dare you.” Ryan glared at Shane, but Shane didn’t seem to take notice. If he did, he didn’t care. Ryan finally did have to crack a smile, his tall, less-than-eloquent friend very endearing. 

 

The shade of the patio umbrella cast Shane in a red pink glow, he looked so handsome, sitting poised on the rooftop, looking off into the distance wistfully. The illusion was shattered when he took a massive bite off of his burrito. 

 

“Bad segway from the avocado discourse, because I’d love nothing more than to argue with you over fruit all afternoon, but are you or  _ are you not _ stopping by later for some funny cigarettes and perhaps some  _ Speed Racer _ ? If you can handle it stoned off your ass, that is.” Shane finished off the last of his burrito and gathered all his trash. 

 

“You had me at  _ Speed Racer. _ Just don’t fuck me up too royally, okay? I have a social life.” Ryan carefully wrapped the foil back around his burrito. He’d save it for later. 

 

“Ryan’s social life: it’s debatable.” Shane winked. Ryan’s heart did a little skip. 

 

“Low blow man, low blow.” Was all he could think to say, looking down at his chips. 

 

“We’ll stretch it into a five part series! The fans will love it.” Shane gathered up the rest of their trash and threw it in the nearest waste bin, returning to stand near Ryan as he waited for his companion to finish.

 

“No. Terrible idea. The worst you’ve had, actually.” Ryan gathered all his leftovers and neatly put them back into the bag and stood up to follow Shane back into the air conditioned building and out of the sweltering desert heat. 

 

“You object because it would just be you working on Unsolved all day and then maybe going to a friends house to play beer pong, on a good night.” Shane nudged his shoulder and Ryan couldn’t help but scoff a little bit. He did have point. 

 

“I don’t like the words coming out of your mouth, please never say them again.” 

 

“Whatever you want, pal.” 

 

\---

 

Ryan nervously made his way up Shane’s apartment stairwell, he wasn’t sure why he had the jitters. Maybe it was doing drugs for the first time, legal as they may be, or maybe it was because he was doing them with Shane. Who was to say?

 

He thought about turning around and bailing, coming up with some sort of excuse, but he couldn’t do that to Shane. He didn’t  _ want  _ to do that to Shane. As silly and almost stereotypical as Shane’s evening hobby was, he wanted to share it with Ryan. And that made him feel warm inside. 

 

He approached Shane’s door and knocked timidly, his other hand gripping his backpack strap. It was almost like Shane had been waiting for him, the door flew open and Ryan was practically dragged in. 

 

“Oh, Ry, I’m so excited, man. I got  _ the good stuff. _ Just for you buddy, I paid probably more than I should have for it, but it is  _ good. Shit _ .” Shane hastily grabbed a white cylindrical container off the counter and handed it to Ryan. 

 

It was no bigger than a pill bottle in Ryan’s hands, he carefully pried the lid off. An earthy aroma, almost sweet in a way wafted from the container. Inside, several green buds sat, they looked like they had ice crystals clinging to the brittle bud. It didn’t smell as bad as Ryan remembered from college but it was still pretty strong. 

 

“It’s called Wedding Cake, and it is  _ phenomenal. _ ” 

 

“It looks like hops…” Ryan said, staring down at the buds. Shane snorted and took the container from Ryan’s hand and motioned for him to follow. 

 

“You have much to learn, young Skywalker.” 

 

Ryan rolled his eyes at the outdated and overused  reference and followed Shane to his bedroom. 

 

The door to his balcony was wide open, blinds tied out of the way. Shane had set up a little area for them, consisting of a rug, blankets, and a few pillows. A small wooden box sat next to the door frame.

 

“It’s too windy to sit directly outside but we’ll be fine right next to the door. He plopped down rather unceremoniously, setting the the cannabis aside and pulling the box into his lap. He noticed Ryan still standing and pointed to the spot in front of him. “Sit.”

 

Ryan shrugged and let his backpack slip from his shoulders, it made a thud as it hit the floor. He took a seat across from Shane. 

“I so hope I don’t regret doing this with you.” He groaned, pulling his legs in so he was sitting crisscross. 

 

“Stopping worrying, Ry. I’ll take care of you.” The statement as, innocent as was, made brought heat to Ryan’s cheeks. He watched Shane put one of the buds in a round metal case with metal teeth lining the inside. “ _ Chill out, maaaann _ .” He said, speaking in a typical California stoner voice. He twisted the case, back and forth, the dry plant made a crunching sound as Shane twisted it. The grinder looked so small in his hands. 

 

“Why are you doing that?” Ryan thought he might as well learn something so as not to look like a fool in the future. 

 

“Because,” Shane removed the top from the grinder, along with the midsection, leaving the ground plant bits at the very last part of the grinder. “You don’t just stick a whole nug in a pipe and go to town, you’re not gonna get very far.”

 

He pulled a glass pipe from the box and began to pack it with the cannabis fragments. 

 

“The idea is that you still want air to pass through while you’re smoking, because that’s just how the laws of combustion work. So you pack it light on the bottom and heavier on top, so the air can pass through while you’re smoking.”

 

“Seems like a lot of effort to feel kind of floaty for a while.” Ryan leaned against the wall and looked out at the city. The sky was just beginning to turn pinkish gold, a few wispy clouds floated on the horizon. 

 

“Life, my dear, is effort.” Shane held up the freshly packed bowl and presented it to Ryan with a small “tada”. Ryan took the pipe from his hands, inspecting the marbled multi-colored glass. The pink, yellow, and orange swirled through clear glass like kelp in the ocean. Shane also extended him a lighter, which Ryan took with some reluctance. 

 

Ryan stared at the objects in his hands, unsure of what to do next. “So do I like… how do I…” 

 

Shane snorted through his nose and leaned over to help his clueless friend. His face was only a few inches from Ryan’s, he couldn’t help but admire the way the strands of hair fell in front of his kind and sparkling eyes. He had a look of peace on his face, lips forming a soft smile.

 

“Here,” He said, adjusting his grip on the pipe. “Cover the hole on the side with your finger. Just hold the flame over the bowl for a moment, and then inhale. Don’t take too big of a hit since it’s your first time, or you’re gonna choke.”

 

Ryan glanced up at Shane, before bring the pipe to his lips. The glass was cool and sleek, and smelled faintly of smoke. He did as Shane instructed, thumbing the lighter on and holding it over the packed herb. A small crackling noise could be heard as the plant slowly burned. 

 

“That’s good, now inhale.” 

 

As soon as Ryan sucked in the vapor, he regretted it, his lungs protested the hot, thick smoke. He quickly handed the bowl back to Shane as he coughed. Shane laughed, his eyes full of mirth as Ryan hacked into his arm. 

 

“What the fuck, dude!” His eyes watered, but the burn in his lungs was only temporary, fading quickly. He waved away the smoke with his hand, Shane was still convulsing with tears in his eyes.

 

“I told you not to take a big hit! That was huge!” Shane stopped laughing long enough to take his turn with the pipe. He exhaled, a thin cloud of vapor flowed from his lips. He handed the pipe back to Ryan, along with the lighter. “It won’t be as bad the second time, I promise.” 

 

Ryan took the pipe again, this time careful not breath in too much, to fast. It still burned a little bit, and he still coughed a little bit. He started laughing too, certain he looked like a rookie. But this was just Shane and him, he wasn’t here to impress him. Just here to have fun with him. 

 

“I look like an idiot…” Ryan said. He smiled and started giggling again. He felt warm all over, like he was wrapped in an invisible blanket. “Stop laughing at me.” 

 

“I’m not judging. It’s cute.” Shane quirked an eyebrow, bringing the bowl back to his lips. Ryan was glad Shane wasn’t watching him, he could feel the blush creep up his neck. 

 

They burned through the bowl, Shane began to pack another. Ryan swayed back and forth, humming to himself. Watching Shane delicately pack the tiny plant fragments was hypnotic in a way.

 

“I see why you like this so much now, you might have turned me.” He sighed, content to just sit there and be relaxed. 

 

“At last, another recruit for the dank side.” Shane finished packing the second bowl, he turned around and started fumbling for his phone. “Shit… forgot to turn on some music.”    
  
He scrolled lazily through his phone before finally settling on something. The Talking Heads started playing from a speaker. Shane smiled and turned back to the freshly packed bowl waiting for him.

 

“I’m surprised… but also I’m not, does that makes sense?” Ryan nudged Shane with his foot as he took a hit. 

 

“My weed playlists are very selective, only the finest funky tunes will do.” He said, mid exhale. The smoke made his voice sound deeper, almost like he was talking with cotton stuck in his throat. He passed the bowl to Ryan, who took it gratefully. 

 

“So can you like, do any smoke tricks?” Ryan passed the pipe back to Shane and then coughed into his arm. A slight tickle in his throat still remained. 

 

“Ryan… Smoke tricks are so entry level. Of course I can.” He took a large hit and opened his mouth in the shape of an ‘o’, exhaling thick, round smoke rings. They curled in the air until they eventually dissipated. Shane chuckled upon seeing Ryan’s face full of wonder as he watched. 

 

“Do it again!” Ryan was so stupidly entranced by Shane’s silly little party trick. 

 

“Alright…” He took another hit, this time bringing his index finger to his lips, resulting in two smoke rings instead of one. 

 

“How do you do that?” Ryan watched as the rings faded. The room was beginning to take on a hazy quality. The light outside was fading fast, the sky looked blue green. The city lights were just starting to show.

 

Shane handed the bowl back to Ryan. 

 

“Just take a hit real quick and hold it in.” Ryan did as he was instructed, the smoke felt heavy in his lungs. “Okay, now instead of breathing it all out at once, open your mouth so it’s shaped like and ‘o’, and then make tiny little coughs, like baby coughs.” 

 

The first few puffs that came out of Ryan looked nothing like the seemingly solid rings Shane was able to produce. The final puff came out in the form of a wobbly little ring, though it dissipated almost immediately. Ryan however, was ecstatic. 

 

“I did it! I did it!” He handed the bowl back to Shane, so happy with his little accomplishment. 

 

“You wanna see another trick?” Shane asked with a sly smile on his face.

 

“Yes.” Ryan turned his full attention to Shane, watching him with his big dilated brown eyes. Shane exhaled, the smoke flowed almost like grey liquid from his mouth, and funneled up into his nose. The remaining vapor he exhaled in a thin cloud. “That was hot… I bet that one gets all the chicks.” Ryan said, before he could think to stop himself. 

 

“I don’t really… smoke with girls, not for a while anyway. Actually I don’t really smoke with other people. You’re the first person I’ve invited to do this with, honestly.” Shane emptied the ash from the spent bowl, and began to pack yet another. 

 

Ryan’s heart soared at the new knowledge. Shane wanted to share this with him, and him only. He had a large number of friends, many of whom also smoked, but Ryan being the only one he wanted to smoke with? He couldn’t help but feel a little special. 

 

“Any other tricks you know?” Ryan infolded his legs so the blood could start circulating properly, pins and needles ran through his left foot. 

 

“One,” Shane said. “But it takes both of us to do it, and it might be kind of uncomfortable.” 

 

“Can’t be that bad, what is it?” 

 

Shane spared him an expressionless glance and then looked back down at the pipe. 

 

“Scoot a little closer.” Ryan shifted forward, scooting along the carpet so their knees were touching. “Okay… when I blink, inhale.” Shane said before taking a hit.

 

Gentle hands pulled his face forward, Shane’s face was only a few inches from his. He watched him lazily blink, his eyelids hooded over his hazel eyes. Ryan almost forgot to breath in. The smoke, now cooled from passing from Shane to Ryan, flowed into his mouth lazily. Shane maintained eye contact with him, pulling away to let Ryan breathe. 

 

“Some party trick, man…” Ryan whispered breathlessly. 

 

Shane didn’t respond, only taking another hit off the bowl. Ryan was ready when Shane leaned in again, cupping jaw with the most delicate of touches. He could swear Shane’s fingers trembled, but only slightly. 

 

The smoke enters his lungs, but he’s not paying much attention to it, he’s trying to figure out the familiar look in Shane’s eyes, yet the answer eludes him, lost in the cannabis scented fog. He doesn’t bother to pull away as he breathes out, he’s drawn to Shane like a magnet.

 

It’s like all his inhibitions fell away, Ryan closes the gap between them, lips colliding with Shane’s. Shane accepts him readily, eyes fluttering closed. Ryan tangles his fingers in Shane’s hair, their lips slotting perfectly together. He exhales through his nose, Shanes fingers trail down his jawline and neck. 

 

Shane pulls Ryan into his lap and lays backwards so Ryan is sitting on top of him. They continue to kiss, in no hurry to do anything else. Just exploring each other through brushes of lips, cut off moans and breathy sighs, their tongue darting out to taste each other. 

 

There’s a sort of hunger between the both of them, the want know and feel more of each other. Soon they’re shedding their shirts and continuing where they left off, making out like a pair of hormonal teenagers. 

 

Shane’s thumbs dig into Ryan’s hips, Ryan moans against his lips. The room is filled with the sounds of their shuffling, the slick sound of their swollen lips meeting over and over again, the forgotten speaker playing a pop song about getting high and drunk, and the sounds of the city that managed to drift in and disappear among the haze of the room. 

 

They found themselves growing sleepy, minds foggy and pleasantly empty, thinking of nothing but each other. They made their way to Shane’s bed, kicking off shoes and pants, crawling onto the bed. Ryan nestled warmly within Shane’s figure, Shane wrapped his arms around Ryan and buried his nose his hair. 

 

Ryan pressed a small kiss to Shane’s collar bone, and hummed contently. “We have a lot to talk about…” Ryan mumbled. 

 

“Mmmm,” Shane groaned. “Sleep now. Talk tomorrow.” 

 

Ryan couldn’t argue with that. He fell asleep in Shane’s arms, brain full of THC and a heart full of love. 

**Author's Note:**

> SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
> 
> ahahaha... kudos and comments are always appreciated


End file.
